Whoever loses his life...Stream of consciouness ramblings I think

Awesome bible study of  Luke 9 and Matthew 16 (parallel context):

http://www.jesuswalk.com/lessons/9_22-26.htm.

Reading Matthew 16 verse 25 "For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it," and studying what it means to take up your cross and follow Jesus and die with him...

It's a hard, hard, lesson.

Was also listening to Pastor James Ford from from Moody Radio preaching on a sermon titled "Don't Ever Give Up" at "http://www.moodyradio.org/brd_programupcoming.aspx?id=83050 

A lot of what he said in there stuck with me, starting with his parable/methaphor of the Judge who disrobes of his garment to take on a regular person's clothing in order to help a criminal. Also impacted by his long expo about the man who insead of saying, "Jesus, get me out of here says, Jesus, I'll go through this, I'll walk through the valley of the shadow of death, if you are with me" or the man who sees a mountain an tells God "give me the strength to climb it"  or the man who "looks at his opponents and sees opportunity."

It's all kind of jumbled really, but basically what I'm getting from it all is that we as Christians are to be so lost in Jesus, so utterly trusting in him that we lose ourselves in him and face anything: Physical death and any other death; Death to our ambitions if necessary, death to our desires to please man, death to our fears. And the way we can do this is because we know he's with us, we know that we are buried with Christ and gives us true life.

God, i need help with this at my job. I get so stressed out at times about doing well, performing well, liking people well, getting them to like me well. I start to think about my tomorrow and what sort of consequences there will be because of the choices I make today and the work that I do today that I can't even sleep sometimes (like today, when I got up at 4 a.m. and started to pray b/c I couldn't go back to sleep).  

Ugggh. Makes me so sick. I renounce it all.  I surrender it all! I CHOOSE to trust you in my work, day in and day out. I choose to trust that you equip me and that you lead me and that you are the one who controls my legacy in this career that you have allowed given me the privilege to practice. I will not stress about what TM thinks, I will not stress about what SB thinks.  I will embrace my job as a ministry. I will look to you as my boss and as the one I seek to please. Starting today. I will do this everyday, I will take up my cross and follow you. I will die to self-consumed ambition, people-pleasing tendencies and worry. I will stop asking you to get me out of it because it's hard or stressful at times.  I will walk through it and rest secure in the knowledge that you will establish the work of my hands during this time that I work as a ____.  God help me. I choose this today, but I can't do it without your help. Please, abba, help me.