Medical School

I've been meaning to write for a long time. Can't seem to find the time or place until now (actually "blogging" from my email at work at 8 a.m. b/c this is the only time I can find). Anyways, I digress. David got into medical school. Silence. Blank. That's how I feel. So much time has gone by, we've spent so many months, years, waiting for this moment and it is finally here. What to do? Not quite sure yet, I think the shock has yet to wear off for both of us.

They called him just as we were heading out to EI graduation last Thursday, May 17. David was walking ahead of me, EG and ND I didn't hear the phone ring, but I heard him pick up and something about his voice told me he was talking to Mr. Larkin, but then again he seemed so calm; "Excellent," he said. And then some more words. And some more words. "What about financial aid?"  I knew. He got off the phone and told us in the car with the calmest, most wryful look that I could have ever imagined. E and N both got watery eyes. I didn't seem to be able to stop smiling, but somehow he was calm and so was I. I wanted to hug him and hug him tight, but I didn't feel the urge to scream or shout. All of it was very strange. We told EI land EI later later that after the graduation. Then on Sunday, as we were heading back we concocted some story and stopped by Sunnyville to have dinner with his family to surprise them with the news. AR and OR cried immediately after they realized what we were saying.  And then yesterday we told my family. They were so cute, all of them jumped up and hugged him.We also went looking for apartments here in littlevile yesterday.And now, here I am. Trying to process it all in my brain. Writing, wanting to say a few words to the one responsible for it all. You, my God.

Thank you. Thank you. That's really the only thing I can say. It's weird, because I don't feel the ecstatic joy that I expected to feel. I'm happy, and glad, but somehow still a little numb. Mostly I just have this awesome sense of the reality of you and your word. Of your faithfulness and love and kindness and goodness. There was no reason we should have been blessed in this way, nothing in us that made us holy and worthy. You very well could have said no, and what would we have done? Nothing, just accepted it and moved on. Like so many verses in the Bible, who are we to question the maker of the universe. But you didn't, you granted him the desire of his heart and heard my prayers simply because you love us. Something in the deepest parts of me seems to have begun to understand that although we are not worthy and although we are not perfect, you see our hearts, search them and see the best in us for some reason no matter how small to bless your children.  Reminds me of D's favorite verse "For the eyes of the LORD move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His." In the end, it just boils down to one thing--your goodness. Your lovingkindness towards us even though we are no one that you should be mindful of us. My Jesus, thank you for teaching me even now as I continue to grow that trusting you is the only way. The only thing that makes sense. Not just because today I am happy with what you have done, but because I am learning every day of my life that passes, that you are a good God. That you are a powerful, sovereign, righteous and justice God. But most importantly, that you are a good God.


Father, help me remember that. Help me remember your goodness today and tomorrow when life gets better or worse or jus stays blah. May our lives be living songs of worship to you. Lead us, light our path and keep our hearts grounded in you. May you preserve our desire to give and help and show your kindess to others through our finances, our careers, our time and the passions we pursue. Father, ultimately, make us the kind of people, the kind of family, who willingly and glady gives everything you have given us right back to you becasue we love you and trust you and desire to honor you in everything we do. Please get us there and let Deutoronomy 8 be our theme.Thank you for your word, for your entreaty.

Deutoronomy 8: Do Not Forget the LordBe careful to follow every command I am giving you today, so that you may live and increase and may enter and possess the land that the Lord promised on oath to your forefathers. 2Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. 3He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord. 4Your clothes did not wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years. 5Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the Lord your God disciplines you.

6Observe the commands of the Lord your God, walking in his ways and revering him. 7For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land—a land with streams and pools of water, with springs flowing in the valleys and hills; 8a land with wheat and barley, vines and fig trees, pomegranates, olive oil and honey; 9a land where bread will not be scarce and you will lack nothing; a land where the rocks are iron and you can dig copper out of the hills.

10When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the Lord your God for the good land he has given you. 11Be careful that you do not forget the Lord your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws and his decrees that I am giving you this day. 12Otherwise, when you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down, 13and when your herds and flocks grow large and your silver and gold increase and all you have is multiplied, 14then your heart will become proud and you will forget the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. 15He led you through the vast and dreadful desert, that thirsty and waterless land, with its venomous snakes and scorpions. He brought you water out of hard rock. 16He gave you manna to eat in the desert, something your fathers had never known, to humble and to test you so that in the end it might go well with you. 17You may say to yourself, “My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me.” 18But remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your forefathers, as it is today.
19If you ever forget the Lord your God and follow other gods and worship and bow down to them, I testify against you today that you will surely be destroyed. 20Like the nations the Lord destroyed before you, so you will be destroyed for not obeying the Lord your God.

Amen. With your help, we will Jesus.