Dearest Lord, it's been so long since I've written. Probably about as long as I've prayed. Not sure how it happened: school and I just got in the way, I think. But I missed you, couldn't take it anymore. The thought that you wanted to spend time with me and I hadn't made time made me hurt. So, here we are. I don't have anything inspiring or deep to say, other than that I love you. That I love everything about you. That I wish I felt closer to you right now. But I don't. It seems like school has dulled me these weeks. But how I still love you my sweet Jesus. I need to give you glory because everything about you is glorious.
Lead me to your heart God. Surprise me in the middle of my day. Father, show me your heart. Lead me to the cross where your love poured out. Bring me to my knees, I lay me down. Rid me of myself, I belong to you. Lead me to your heart, God.--I borrowed that from Brooke. Draw me in. Give me your heart. I've had a hard time speaking lately, dunno why. Daddy, I want to know the meaning of life with you. In you. Awaken me again! Please. Give me strength.
Lord, I've been getting so scared lately. I hate it. You've been so graceful to me and I've done so well these past two years...I'm afraid that it's gonna get to head or that it already has. I know it hasn't been me. It's been so clear to me every semester. But now, it's almost like I'm starting to think that its natural and I don't know. I don't know. I just want to give YOU the glory. I want to trust in YOU, not in my strength or in my calendars or strategies. God, but the calendars help. I feel so overwhlemed otherwise. Please give me peace. God search my heart and know me. In my deepest of hearts I know that the glory is all yours and that I can do nothing without you. Daddy let that be at the forefront of my thoughts. Let that eclipse every other thought. And let it be for your praise. I renounce every fear in my hear or mind because your perfect love in me knows no fear. I trust you God. I know you will keep my heart and my ways pure. Father, I love talking to you. I don't know why it takes me so long to say what's in my heart. But everytime, once the words come out, your truth comes in. And I remember that you are a good God.
Dear Lord, help me friend. Please God, be with her. Shower her with your presence, with your love with your consolation. I can't imagine her pain, but you know her pain. Please give her rest in you. I don't know what I would do or how I would manage if my mom wasn't here. I truly don't know, the thought overwhelms me a little. And so I ask you to be with her. Help me be a good friend, help me be selfless and understandng. God give her preace and grace. She hasn't studied, but you know how her heart has been. And so I ask that you would suprise her and shock her with your awesome favor when she takes those exams.
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