Will You Discredit My Justice?

No, God I won't. I hear your voice God. I hear you. My experience these past three years, the ebb and flow, the thorn on the side, your grace is sufficient, and Job. Yes, God I hear you. And I submit to you. I believe you. And I love you. How I love you. I love you even if I don't quite understand completely. Even if I see thru a mirror darkly now.
________________________________
Be like the great George Mueller of Bristol England. On the Lord's Day, February 6, 1870, his wife Mary died of rheumatic fever. They had been married 39 years and 4 months. The Lord gave him the strength to preach at her memorial service. He said,

I miss her in numberless ways, and shall miss her yet more and more. But as a child of God, and as a servant of the Lord Jesus, I bow, I am satisfied with the will of my Heavenly Father, I seek by perfect submission to His holy will to glorify Him, I kiss continually the hand that has thus afflicted me.

By John Piper. © Desiring God. Website: desiringGod.org

---

Gifts for God?

The gifts are intensifiers of desire for Christ himself in much the same way that fasting is. When you give a gift to Christ like this, it's a way of saying, "The joy that I pursue (verse 10!) is not the hope of getting rich with things from you. I have not come to you for your things, but for yourself. And this desire I now intensify and demonstrate by giving up things, in the hope of enjoying you more, not things. By giving to you what you do not need, and what I might enjoy, I am saying more earnestly and more authentically, 'You are my treasure, not these things.'" I think that's what it means to worship God with gifts of gold and frankincense and myrrh.

~By John Piper. © Desiring God. Website: desiringGod.org

Awesome insight. God, I want to be better at fasting and at laying down my treasures before you. All of them, everything you've given me. How I love you. How I adore you my Jesus.

Psalm 119 for David

I am remembering your promises..Your Word does not come back void....Faith comes through hearing your word.. I proclaim each and everyone of those over David.  And Psalm 119...Oh God, that 119 would become his lifesong:

"Blessed are they who keep his statutes and seek him with all his heart..." This is David. In Jesus name, this will be David.

"Oh that my ways were steadfast in obeying your decrees! Then I would not be put to shame when I consider all your commands..." David will learn steadfastness in you, Jesus. You will finish your mighty work in him, and he will not be put to shame: he will see the salvation of the Lord.

"I run in the path of your commands for you have set my heart free." God set him free to run after you, to run and glide on your promises to run after you. Set him free from fear of man, from fear of failure from fear of the future, all fears!

"Give me understanding and I will keep you law and obey it with all my heart." God turn his heart to you, open his spiritual eyes, his understanding to your word. Fill him with understanding.

And finally, one of my strongest, most resonating prayers for him....

"Turn my eyes away from worthless things, preserve my life according to our word." In the name of Jesus, I proclaim that every, every idol will be torn down, everything that takes from his time with you, from his attention to you WILL NO LONGER BE. I proclaim that he will, turn his eyes from every worthless things and to you.

Yet I Will Rejoice in The Lord...

K, so I'm back. I keep remembering this verse I read a few days ago. It attached to my heart and I can't quite seem to shake it off.. Even while I try to read the chapters assigned to my reading plan, Habakkuk 3:17 just keeps coming to mind. It's just so beautiful.

Though the fig tree should not blossom.
Nor fruit be on the vine.
 Though the produce of the olive fail.
And the fields yield no food.
Though the flock be cut off from the fold.
Though there be no herd in the stalls;
yet I will rejoice in the Lord.
 I will take joy in the God of my salvation.
God, the Lord, is my strength.
He makes my feet like the deer's.
He makes me tread on my highplaces.

The last verse is the clincher. I WILL TAKE JOY IN THE GOD OF MY SALVATION. That pretty much sums it up for me. I will take joy in you Lord; I want to be that person who takes joy in you and everything else is just extra. Help me take joy in you, make me take joy in you God. Show me your greatness, remind me of your awesome glory and neverending love so that no matter what happens in my life, no matter whether I have a groundbreaking quiet time or not, no matter whether David is being sweet, no matter how overwhelmed I am with work, how scared I may feel at points about everything I'm gonna do this semester...I can take joy in you and remember that YOU, YOU ALONE are my strength. And with you, I will tread on highplaces no matter what life looks like, no matter my circumstances or what I see. I have you and that is my highplace. Always.

Bible Reading.. Doesn't Feel Like Revelation Today...

Not sure I know what to get from my reading today. In Mattew 1, I read about how Mary became pregnant while engaged to Joseph and of how the Holy Spirit told Joseph not to leave her because the baby in  her womb had been conceived by the Holy Spirit. Later on, in Acts Ch. 1, I read about how the disciples decided who would be Judas' successor by drawing straws.

In reading Matthew, I know i'm missing a lot.  A lot of the shock and emotion that Mary and Joseph must have both felt. The story reads a lot more plainly than it could have happened and I have trouble grasping the significance of it.

In reading Acts, I started to think about the whole practice of casting lots.  It would be a lot easier if I could just cast lots for major decisions in my life like the apostles did; I almost decided to start doing this as practice.  Then I researched the topi a bit and found some debate on whether this was good practice today or not; the gist of the argument against it was that we have the Holy Spirit and the word of God which abides in us so we no longer need to cast lots. Sounded like a valid point, but I'm still not sure it completely does away with the possibility that casting lots is a good idea. I think I'll just wait till I read more in Acts to see how the apostles made their decision after the day of pentecost.

So...that's that. I'm a little restless and frustrated because I feel like I'm not getting enough out of the scriptures. I keep thinking there's more, some hidden treasure in what I'm reading, but so far I haven't had any major eureka. So, God, what do you want me to do with this quiet time today? Should I keep reading, keep researching, should I worship, should I just stay quiet, is there something you wnat to tell me? I don't know. I'm not sure. But I don't want to come out the same as I came in. Can you fill me please? Revive your Holy Spirit within me today?

Promises for David

"Mas alabase en esto el que se hubiere de alabar: en entenderme y conocerme, que yo soy Jehova, que hago misericordia, juicio y justicia en la tierra; porque estas cosas quiero." Jeremiah 9:24

"Porque yo se los pensamientos que tengo acerca de vosotros, dice Jehova, pensaminetos de paz, y no de mal, para daros el fin que esperais." Jeremiah 29:11

" God, the one and only--I'll wait as long as he says. Everything I need comes from him, so why not? He's solid rock under my feet. Breathing room for my soul. An impregnable castle: I'm set for life...My help and glory are in God. Granite-srength and safe-harbor God. So trust in him absolutely people. Lay your lives on the line for him. God is a safe place to be...God said this once and for all; how many times have I heard it repeated? 'Strength comes straight from God.'" Psalm 62:5-8, 11-12

"'Test me in this,'" says the LORD Almighty, 'and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.'" Malachi 3:10

Dear God these are my prayers today and for always for David. Lord would you please reveal yourself to him? Can you please put a passion in his heart to seek you, to know you. Burn him up with passion for you. Fill his heart with longing, fill his mind with thoughts of you. God find him in dreams, in visions, in words, at work, through friends, through me. Surround him and open his heart to you. Open his eyes to you dear God. God make this true in his life; that if he were to boast in anything it be the fact that he knows you and walks with you in communion as a friend. Daddy, teach him how to be your close friend everyday. To speak to you as a friend. To communicate with you daily.

Reveal to him that you are good, that you are faithful and grant the desires of his heart. Teach him to wait on you, God. I ask that he would he learn to wait on you with full assurance of your goodness and provision. Father give him paitence as he waits. Increase his faith in you. Give him peace and security in you and who you are Father. Cover him, fill him.

Thank you for the promise that you revealed to me today. I know your word is for him; you have good plans, good thoughts towards him, but most amazing of all, you have plans to give him the end that he expects. The end that he has waited on for so long.  I believe in my heart that it will not be for naught. I believe that you will pour out blessings in overabundance.

I receive your word for my husband and also for me and our children. For my entire household God. We will live lives that test you, lives of faithfullness in tithing, in finances, in devotion and dedication to you. And we will see you pour out blessings in overabundance. So much blessing that we will NOT have room to contain them and will share and spread them to those around us. I receive you word God. And I say yes, I say amen. I do believe.

Doubt On the Eve of A New Year--Not Good.

Happy New Year to me! Yay! and to you God, though I don't know if you celebrate new years. I'm a little worried. It wasn't the most exhilarating and inspring start to the year. I feel a little bad even talking about anything because I know my new year's was a lot better than many other people's. But I am a little scared God. I'm questioning things and don't know how to go about getting answers from you.

My mom, my dad. That's the problem. I just don't understand how it's possible to be a Christian and to speak your word and do so many things in your name's sake, yet still live in total discord and disunion and bickering for more than 25 years. Are you in the mix? If so, why haven't you answered my prayers, mine and my brother's and caused a miracle to happen. Yeah, I've heard the theory about how you don't force someone to change, about how you will only work if someone allows you to, but can that really be it? I mean, I've prayed for so many years, my brother cried so much when he was little....where is your redeeming power God? Lord, I love you, I'm sorry to be talking like this. It hurts me. But it's all in my mind, and not speaking has not made any of it go away.

And if the issue is that they don't allow you to change them, then how can they be Christians? I know change is slow, and progress is slow, and none of us are perfect, but God, your word says that you make us new. That we are transformed from glory to glory. Where is that in them? And if the answer is that they're not really Christians, then how is it that you still support them...how is it that they pray and seek you,....how is it that the church is now growing...how is it that my older brother appears to have changed so much and awakened spiritually while under their pastoring.

Myl little brother's theory really messed me up. According to him, this is how the cycle goes: A "miracle" happens because my mom decides to stay silent and say ok to anything and everything my dad says for awhile. She does this for a couple of months, but then gets fed up and starts bickering and blows up at him when he doesn't appear to change his ways. Afterwards, all the pent-up anger and bitterness boils over and translates to recriminations, etc.

I really did believe that it was you who'd done the miracle. But I'm not sure anymore because they seem to be right back where they started.

And so there God. I brought my worries to you with prayer and supplication. My supplication is that you would answer me please. I don't want to doubt but it doesn't make sense. I'm trying to fast today, Ann and I agreed to be fasting for David. I know I haven't been pulling my weight as a wife and so I wanted to pray and fast for him today;  I just didn't know how to pray when I'm experiencing so much doubt. I'm gonna try anyways and trust that your grace is sufficient for me and that you will bring peace and clarity to my spirit. I love you God, above all, I love you. And I'm in it for good. I will wait on you because even though none of this makes sense, YOU make sense. You have shown yourself to be true in my life. In the world around me so many times. And so even though my faith is weak right now, and I feel a little lost, I trust that you are my shepherd and I will hear your loving voice.