Prayer and Supplication...

So, I've arrived at the conclusion that life just gets more complicated the older you get.  Dear Lord, I've got such a headache. So many worries, so many things going all at once. Work, Fabian's situation, my brother, the list goes on and on. Oh dear Lord, all it does is show me how much I need you everyday. You are the reason I can get thru it all. You fill my life. And I know that your word prevails.

"Be anxious for nothing, but by prayer and supplication make your requests known to God." That's what I'm doing today, Lord. I know I can only find myself in you. I know my life is hidden in you. This world will pass, these troubles of today will pass, but you remain as the steadfast rock in my life. My God, in whom, I lean on, rely and confidently trust. I want community with you, God. Give me dove's eyes, to only see you. Fill my life with you, make me that woman of faith, that woman who lives out of every word that proceeds from your mouth.

Father, I lift up Fabian to you. Dear God, you know how troubled my heart is. I don't know what to do but pray. And so I am praying. Dear Lord have mercy upon him, send your angels to guard him and keep him. Reveal yourself to him. Jesus, save him! Lift him out of the miry clay and show him your goodness, your everlasting life. Please, Dear Lord, bring the things that are hidden into the light. Give David wisdom and discernment to speak to him. Give A visions and dreams, reveal to her the things he is hiding. Father be his potter. That you would mold and rebuild him. Have mercy on him, Father.

Lord I lift up EF to you. My God, how I love him. How my heart hurts for him. I don't know how much suffering he is feeling right now, but I can only imagine. Father, please set him free from bitterness and unforgiveness. Erase the visions that torment him. God fill him with your love, your strength. Raise him up as a strong man of unwielding faith in his Lord. Change her as well God. Please work in her. Bring her to true repentance and fill her with your spirit, with your meekness. Give her wisom, give her the mind of Christ. And please protect the little one. Oh, God, send your angels to surround that little one right now. God, that nothing would impede his or her entrance into this world. Please make it so that little baby comes into a loving family, a family that is directed by you, that is filled with your spirit and your love. Dear Father, saturate that home with your spirit. Please send your angels to protect her and her womb, please God. Work a miracle, God. Please give them your joy. Set him free from debt, from financial bondage. Lord, be his provider, be his direction. Give me wisdom to speak to him, please give me your words and multiply our seed into him.

Dear God, help me at work. Sometimes I feel so discouraged, so overwhelmed, so un-animated. But Father, that is where you have put me, and so I am asking you to be my joy and my strength. Give me favor Father, but please keep me from idolatry or from desiring man's praise. God, show me what it is to live and work for you. To look to you for everything, for approval, for favor, for satisfaction. Help me, God. Help me to do well, to lift your name on high everywhere I go. Give me your eyes, your hands, your feet. God let my career be a living worship and sacrifice to you. Take away my fear, my insecurities. Help my unbelief. God, I surrender anew to you. I adore you my Father. You are the strength of my life.

Please help my friend. God, awaken her heart to you. Fill her with your spirit, with your joy. God ease her frustrations, and her fears. God, be her all. Surround her with your love, fille her with you. God that you would be more than enough for her. Father, bring her back to her first love, to that momen of utter and complete abandon in you. Grant her desires Father, but help her find all that she needs in you. Take away her anger. God bless her marriage. Give him wisdom, show him how to love and encourage her. God bless her womb. Make it fertile, and in your time Lord, bless her God. Oh Lord, how my heart desires to see my friend standing tall and strong, and unafraid of whatever this world throws her way right now. God, that she would be complete in you. Set her soul afire for you once again. God, touch her. Touch her heart, show her how to love you more and more everyday. Awaken her hunger and thirst for you. Show her how to live in you and walk with you everyday. Father, do an amazing work in her. Do a new work in her. Speak to her Father. Tune her ears to you. Take away her rebellion, her stubborness, her idols, her disillusionment. Dear Lord, that she would arise. Bless them financially, bless his studies. God make him a man who depends on you for every step. God give him more of you everyday. Save his family, his sister, have mercy on her. Dear Lord, cover my friend. Dear Lord, sanctify them for your good works. God, envelope them in your loving embrace. Make their home, a home where love and peace and joy would abide. Just take them all into you Lord.

And my parents. Lord where to start. I am tired, weary, almost losing faith. God, please, make me understand. Give me your eyes, give me your spirit. Father, please work in them. Work in that church. Take away my father's stubbornness. Give mami wisdom, give her patience and love. God  please humble him. God help him to stand before you naked and show him your way. Show him how to do it your way. Dear God, they work so hard. They have devoted so much of their time and life to this ministry. Dear Lord, please, please, please. That they would see your goodness in this life, that they would see the fruits of their labor bloom. God take down all the idols that they may have, give them wisom, make things simple. Help me believe, I almost can't believe any more. Father have mercy on them, show them the error of their ways and bless their labor, God. Please, Dear Lord, they need your help, your guidance. They need you.

New Blog Theme--Whatever You Do...

I've decided today to permanently or temporarily focus the theme of this blog on one thing: my experiences and daily successes or failures at living out Colossians 3:23

"Whatever may be your task, work at it heartily (from the soul), as something done for the Lord and not for men. Knowing with all certainty that it is from the Lord and not from man that you will receive the inheritance which is your real reward. The one whom you are actually serving is the Lord Christ." Colossians 3:23-24.

This verse has become my hearts desire now so much more than ever that I have started this new job. Thank you God for my job-I've been gone for so long and haven't had much of a chance to write about it here, but my heart is so thankful.

So very thankful and amazed at the way you worked it all out (my anxiety over the interview in Fort Pierce and the fact that the interview in Orlando-my first choice-was not set for several weeks later, Fort Pierce's notification that I didn't get the job right after Orlando sent me the letter, Mr. V's email and on and on...)

I don't have much time to write now, but I will soon. Despite my initial excitement with my new job and my eagerness to learn and do good, I've been bombarded with questions, doubts, peer pressure, insecurities...and on and on it goes. Worst of alll, I've developed this intense desire to climb the ladder of legal opportunity and prestige and please my superiors. I know it's all wrong, and I realize my perspective has seriously been hampered. That's why I'm writing about Colossians 3. This is my prayer today Lord, and I will focus and direct my energies to making it true in my life.

The Bar

Oh Dear Lord. Where to begin. I don't know. I have this huge mountain in front of me, and it looms so big. Please put David's words deep in my heart, "With your help I can advance against a troop, with my God I can scale a wall.", I don't know how I can do it, don't know how other people do it. I can only trust that you, my God, my hope of Glory will do. That you will do as you've done these past three years, you've amazed me in so many ways.  God and you've been good, remind me. Remind me of all the funny little stories of how you provided and came through. Like that semester when I was getting married right after finals, or the time I freaked out about applying to Fort Pierce and Orlando and being so scared that the timing would be off and I wouldn't get that job in Orlando. And what did you do? You showed me. I wonder what you were thinking that day I was freaking out and scared, you probably remembered that I was made of dust and had compassion on me even in my obtuseness. Thank you Lord. And you will come through again, your hand is not shortened. Thank you for your word God, and thank you for Vanessa and this scripture.

¹ May the LORD answer you when you are in distress;
may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.
² May he send you help from the sanctuary
and grant you support from Zion.
³ May he remember all your sacrifices
and accept your burnt offerings.^[b]
4 May he give you the desire of your heart
and make all your plans succeed.
⁵ May we shout for joy over your victory
and lift up our banners in the name of our God.
May the LORD grant all your requests.
⁶ Now this I know:
The LORD gives victory to his anointed.
He answers him from his heavenly sanctuary
with the victorious power of his right hand.
⁷ Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.
⁸ They are brought to their knees and fall,
but we rise up and stand firm.
⁹ LORD, give victory to the king!
Answer us when we call!

Dear God, do this for David. Give him this communion, this assurance that you give me. It's only with you that I can stand, that I can face this great unknown and have peace. I want him to experience that. Bring him to your chambers, God.

Bride of Christ

I am the bride of Christ. You love me and have asked me to be yours. You love me as a husband loves his bride. God, I didn't know what that meant, but now that I'm married to David it astounds me. He is such a beautiful reflection of what it means to be a bride.  His love for me is a holy reflection of your love, and your acceptance and the holy intimacy that exists between you and me. Thank you God, because as much as he loves me, with all my imperfections, and how embracing he is of me and my quirks even with my faults, you love me so much more. It's hard to comprehend. God, the openness and trust that I feel towards him, to know that the King of the universe feels for me the way he feels for me and more, is overwhelmeming. I love you God. I am so thankful that you have made me your bride, that I am a part of you. God, I thank you for your everlasting love, for your sacrifice for me, for laying down your life for me. For ransoming me. You bought me like Hosea bought Gomer and you came after me and you continue to come after me everyday of my life. Thank you for covering my nakedness, for cleansing my dirt and sin. I love you God. I love you. Open my eyes. God, open my eyes to see you. Allure me to you, woe me to you. Sanctify me. Teach me to love you good. To love you with all my heart, mind and spirit.

Have You An Arm Like God's?...

Will you even put me in the wrong? Will you condemn me that you may be justified? Have you an arm like God, and can you thunder with a voice like his? Deck yourself with majesty and dignity; clothe yourself with glory and splendor. Pour out the overflowings of your anger, and look on all who are proud, and abase them. Look on all who are proud and bring them low; tread down the wicked where they stand. Hide them all in the dust together, bind their faces in the world below. Then I will also acknowledge to you that your own right hand can give you victory. (Job 40:8-14)


Awesome. Awesome, and marvelous. God that is all that I can really say, not many words left. How long have I missed this? For too long. Job apparently hadn't found out either b/c afterwards he says he didn't really know you. Or perhaps he forgot. God I want to know this side of you.  I want to say as he did:


Therefore, I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me which I did not know...I had heard of thee by hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees thee; therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes...

So Much Right Now...

Oh Father. What do I say right now? I'm tired, so tired. And I'm thankful. The other day, I pretty much broke down because I was so overwhelmed by your goodness. I have a job. You provided, as you promised. And I'm so excited God. I look forward to it with so much expectation and wonder. But right now I have this huge mountain to climb and I'm becoming exhausted. Weary, just weary. I probably haven't done this the right way either though. I could probably be praying a lot more, taking more time to slow down and rest. Just rest in you. You are my rest. God help me please. This exam seems impossible, my brain doesn't seem to quite retain all of this information and time slips thru my hands everyday.

And then, then there's my baby. He's going thru the same right now God. Working so hard, hoping for so much, but neither of us really know what can happen.  God that's how it feels at times. And then I have to remember that your goodness and your heart is for us. That you desire his happiness and his good. Please hide us in your shelter, cover us with your mighty hand. I love you Daddy. We trust you, lead us...there's so much that's unknown right now. But you are a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path.

I Want Understanding

Dear Lord, I am getting so frustrated. Lately I've been having this persistent desire to really, really study your word. I am so tired of just accepting what people say, of hearing the incessant debates about scripture interpretation and application without really knowing what's true. On top of that, I keep thinking of all the verses that say that we are to study your word. But I don't even know where to begin. Everytime I try to do it, I get bogged down by controversy and disputes in the text. Today's reading of Matthew 1 is an example; I never knew the  reference to Isaiah 7:14 of Jesus' virgin birth had caused so much discord.  But in all honesty, it is onfusing to me. Isaisah 7:14 is talking about a child who learnd right from wrong. But Jesus knew no wrong, he was sinless! So how do I make sense of it all? God, please, please, keep me from inerrant doctrine. Keep me from bogus claims. Lead me in your truth, teach me your word God. I want  want to hide your words in my heart and I want to understand your precepts and follow them. Here is my request of you Lord, according to your word:

• Then he opened their minds so they could understand the Scriptures. (Luke 24:45) God open my mind.
• Reflect on what I am saying, for the Lord will give you insight into all this. (2 Timothy 2:7) Give me insight, help  me to reflect please.
• They read from the Book of the Law of God, making it clear and giving meaning so that the people could understand what was being read. Show me the meaning of your word so that I can understand it.
• My heart will utter words of wisdom. My heart shall utter understanding." (Psalm 49:3) Let my heart be filled with wisdom and understanding of your ways.
• Give me understanding and I will keep your law. Yes, I will obey it with all my heart. (Psalms 119:34) Father, I want to know you so that I can honor you.
• Your testimonies are righteous forever. Give me understanding that I may live. (Psalm 119:144) Father, I know your word is life, it is bread, it is sustenance. I want to live.
• My son, if you accept my words, and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you look for it as for silver, and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and the kowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding." (Proverbs 2:1-6) God, I accept your words, I turn my ear to you and want to apply my heart to understanding.  Givce me wisdom, knowledge of you.
• Let my cry come before you, Yahweh. Give me understanding according to your word. (Psalm 119:169)

Ran into this one too; awesome scripture. "and I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with skill, ability andknowledge in all kids of crafts--" Exodus 31: 1