I Want Understanding

Dear Lord, I am getting so frustrated. Lately I've been having this persistent desire to really, really study your word. I am so tired of just accepting what people say, of hearing the incessant debates about scripture interpretation and application without really knowing what's true. On top of that, I keep thinking of all the verses that say that we are to study your word. But I don't even know where to begin. Everytime I try to do it, I get bogged down by controversy and disputes in the text. Today's reading of Matthew 1 is an example; I never knew the  reference to Isaiah 7:14 of Jesus' virgin birth had caused so much discord.  But in all honesty, it is onfusing to me. Isaisah 7:14 is talking about a child who learnd right from wrong. But Jesus knew no wrong, he was sinless! So how do I make sense of it all? God, please, please, keep me from inerrant doctrine. Keep me from bogus claims. Lead me in your truth, teach me your word God. I want  want to hide your words in my heart and I want to understand your precepts and follow them. Here is my request of you Lord, according to your word:

• Then he opened their minds so they could understand the Scriptures. (Luke 24:45) God open my mind.
• Reflect on what I am saying, for the Lord will give you insight into all this. (2 Timothy 2:7) Give me insight, help  me to reflect please.
• They read from the Book of the Law of God, making it clear and giving meaning so that the people could understand what was being read. Show me the meaning of your word so that I can understand it.
• My heart will utter words of wisdom. My heart shall utter understanding." (Psalm 49:3) Let my heart be filled with wisdom and understanding of your ways.
• Give me understanding and I will keep your law. Yes, I will obey it with all my heart. (Psalms 119:34) Father, I want to know you so that I can honor you.
• Your testimonies are righteous forever. Give me understanding that I may live. (Psalm 119:144) Father, I know your word is life, it is bread, it is sustenance. I want to live.
• My son, if you accept my words, and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you look for it as for silver, and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and the kowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding." (Proverbs 2:1-6) God, I accept your words, I turn my ear to you and want to apply my heart to understanding.  Givce me wisdom, knowledge of you.
• Let my cry come before you, Yahweh. Give me understanding according to your word. (Psalm 119:169)

Ran into this one too; awesome scripture. "and I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with skill, ability andknowledge in all kids of crafts--" Exodus 31: 1

Graduation:"I will instruct you and teach you the way you should go, I will counsel you and watch over you." -God

I can't sleep. Dear God I can't sleep. It's so annoying, so frustrating, but I have so much running thru my mind. I didn't even take a minute out this week to thank you, for graduating nine days ago. I mean, actually thank you-not just in passing, not just in word. After it was all said and done, you helped me get to the top of the tallest mountain of my past three years and I didn't even honor you. It makes me so ashamed.

 I'm sorry God. I'm sorry, it seems like its the theme of my life. It's so discouraging sometimes. But I am thankful God. I am thankful and I realize that it was you. That it was all you and I could not have done it without you. You were so faithful. I remember daydreaming about it for so long And you made my dream come true. Like you have done in so many other areas of my life. Thank you. I wasn't the most likely candidate; I had little going for me, but you made it possible. My God is strong, his power knows no bounds. Dear Lord, help me remember that. Help me remember this great accomplishment and the strength of your right hand from this point on also. Please direct me, thank you for how you've spoken today:

 "I will instruct you and teach you the way you should go. I will counsel you and watch over you." Psalm 32:8

I think I forgot that earlier today and yesterday, with this mess of job-searching and stuff. But thank you for reminding me. You will instruct me and teach me where to go. Thank you God. Thank you for watching over me. I love you my dearest Lord.

Seek me that you may live...

"For thus says the Lord to the house of Israel. Seek me that you may live." What a scripture. Dear Lord, I came across it today along with this one: "Seek the Lord and his strength. Seek his face continually."

And this one, "But seek first his kingdom and his righeousness and all these things will be added to you."

And this one, "I rejoice in the following of your statutes as one rejoices in great riches."

So much time. We humans spend so much time seeking wealth, respect, education, jobs, money, approval, diversions. Oh God, that I would seek you. How stupid it all is, we spend so much time seeking after all these other things when all the goodness of life is found in you. Hidden in you. God I want to seek you. I want to rejoice in your voice, your word, your spirit more than I rejoice in the other things of this life that you have given me. And when it's all said and done, and I go on in this life, from day to day, I want to find you there too. In my daily life-in my work, in my school, in my marriage, in the way I eat and lie down. I want to follow your statutes with the things you give me.

Help me to find your joy as I do these things today.  That I would find your strength: the joy of the Lord in my daily walk!  Open my eyes to see the joy that you bring and the fullness of life that comes from doing your will. Today God. As I prepare for this last exam, in being a wife to my husband and a good friend to my best friend. Help me to find joy in whatever you bring my way today as I follow your statutes Lord.  And help me to hide the treasure of your kingdom deep in my heart.
Thank you for your word, it is a lamp unto my feet, but more than that, it's a compass that redirects my path when I start to veer off.